Hi!
It’s currently 3:50 AM on September 7th. 30 years ago, I was born about 5 hours from now.
I’m sitting in the quiet of my home, specifically my personal recording studio, and I feel compelled to share what just wrapped up here. It’s the end of a two-week sabbatical, in which I wrote and recorded music for over 100 hours. The hope was to focus on my own personal voice, and see what happens if I simply let pure artistic inclinations run wild. About 20 minutes ago, I finished the 7th piece of music made during these two weeks. It was truly a culmination of the two weeks that came before, and the learning and growing that came with time, freedom, and hard work. But this piece of music is a culmination of much more than that.
Over the past 15 years, I’ve made more music than I can recall. Partly it’s because I write chronically, following the impulses of the moment, and moving on. I’ve developed a process around this habit, so that I can often ‘finish’ every new ideas as it comes. So everything I’ve ever wanted to make I’ve set out to complete, in some form.
Except one song.
When I was 19, I was in the backyard of my parents house on a summer day, and began strumming chords. I held on to these chords, and eventually started playing them on piano, whenever I could sneak into a practice room at my college’s music school. I don’t quite remember how, but playing those chords evolved into a 10 minute giant piece of music…except it was all in my head. Stranger still, I decided not to record it. The puzzling instinct was to “Wait till I am ready.” I had no plan to be ready, but I was constantly eager for the moment…in part because of how special the song seemed to be. Whenever I reached the last minute on the song, I was in tears watching my hands move on the piano. It moved me deeply.
There were moments over the years where I wondered if I was ready. And I always felt that I wasn’t. But each year, it remained in the background of my creativity, like a deliberate unicorn. Why this song? I have no idea.
I decided to end the sabbatical, and usher in my 30th birthday, by finally recording this song.
I did demo in April, just to see if it would work. Fortunately, it worked, and that helped my confidence in choosing to tackle something that I had waited 10 years to approach. Between April and now, I finished building my personal recording studio, so that everything I could ever want to use was in one place.
Making the final song took two days, totaling 30 hours. I used every instrument at my disposal, and brought together many arrangement ideas and textural ideas that seemed to express my personal identity perfectly. And low and behold, I finally got to officially record that teary-eyed final minute. It happened in two takes. And it was perfect. And I cried, just like I used to.
I’m sitting here in the quiet of completion, in a bit of shock. I can’t believe the day finally came, and the song has been made. I really really can’t believe it all. The feeling is a bit like when I read the last sentence of the last Harry Potter book. I’m exhausted and in disbelief, but I feel like I’ve ended this decade of life in the rightest of ways. I’m looking forward to sharing it someday soon.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEE
:)